To the Men Who Are Clearly Not My Audience

It’s okay to walk away from what isn’t serving you

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Author’s Note: In this piece, I use a lot of binary, gendered language and make a lot of generalizations. I wish I could find a way to write about this issue with more inclusive, nuanced language. Unfortunately, most of the places I’ve lived and encountered have had clearly defined gender roles that created obvious power dynamics so that influences my perspective.

Please bear with me and recognize that this is one article written by one person from a personal, opinionated place that may or may not resonate.

Two weeks ago, I wrote an article about how the idea of “One of the Good Ones” is actually a lie heteronormative culture perpetuates to encourage women to keep dating sh*tty men in hopes of finding a non-abusive one.

Men, who I don’t know well enough to categorize as “one of the good ones,” “one of the mediocre ones,” or “one of the bad ones,” had a lot to say about my take and my dating choices.

Before I get too far in this essay, I want to make a clarification. When I write pieces like the one about “the good ones” and this one, I’m referring to gender-based violence perpetrated by…