Member-only story
Election of the American Pope by the Cardinals is Wrong
“The Pope Isn’t Chosen by God? This Story Might Prove It”
Just got an American elected as Pope. America finally did it. We exported Hollywood, fast food, democracy—and now, the papacy. Yes, an American Pope. As in, “Pope Francis 2.0” with a hint of barbecue sauce and a Boston accent.
Let me start by saying — this might ruffle a few robes.
And if you’re a devoted Roman Catholic, kindly put down the holy water. I promise, I’m not here to start a war with the Vatican. I’m just here with a story. A Bible story, to be precise. And possibly a little divine common sense.
My Friend’s Crisis of Faith
So I’m sitting at this popular café one Sunday, having brunch after church, the food tasting suspicious — far from what I expected, when my friend Mitchell storms in like she’s late for a protest.
She plops down, takes her own brunch order, and goes,
“Wait — Angel, are you very much aware the Pope is elected by men? Actual cardinals? Human beings? Like voting and all that jazz? No clouds parting, no dove descending?”
I blinked. And hoped she would just be quiet and allow me finish what I was doing before she came in.
