The Doctor Dilemma

Finding an LGBTQ+ Friendly Provider Without Losing Your Mind (or Your Health)

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For years, my primary healthcare strategy was simple: stay healthy enough to avoid the doctor altogether. As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I’d learned that a trip to the doctor’s office could bring anxiety, uncertainty, or outright discomfort. Too many times, I’d encountered providers who were dismissive or seemed awkward when it came to LGBTQ+ health concerns — whether from lack of understanding or lack of interest in learning. So, I kept my distance from the healthcare system, thinking that if I exercised, ate well, and generally took care of myself, I could bypass doctors’ offices indefinitely.

But as I entered my 40s, I began to see the limits of this approach. Staying healthy is still my priority, of course, but health doesn’t always go according to plan. Regular checkups and preventive care become more essential with age, and I knew I couldn’t keep avoiding the doctor. I decided it was time to find a healthcare provider who didn’t just “tolerate” me, but who genuinely saw and respected me as I am. Little did I know, that decision would lead to months of researching, vetting, and filtering through countless directories in search of a provider who truly understood and valued LGBTQ+ health needs.

Throughout this journey, my family — especially my brothers — never fully…