Grandfather at Christmas Party Mistakes Gold-Wrapped Chocolate Money for Bitcoin

TEMPE, AZ — A local grandfather of six suffered a profound embarrassment at his family’s Christmas gathering when, upon seeing a bowl of chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil, asked in earnest if they were a popular type of cryptocurrency.

The remark by Donald Smith, 79, promptly drew polite yet sustained laughter from his grandchildren, whose portfolios — and future children’s names — include Ethereum, Tron, Zcash, Monero, Dogecoin and, of course, Bitcoin.

Smith said afterward that he was just trying to make a joke, but his history of being well behind the curve on most things finance and tech makes his claim doubtful, according to his wife Helen.

“He’s been confusing IRAs with the Irish Republican Army for over forty years,” she said dishearteningly. “He’s not a historian, nor is he Irish, a Republican, or a veteran.”

Helen added that her husband also insists on bringing her sewing case with him whenever he goes to the ATM and is prompted to enter his PIN. “It’s not an age thing,” she said. “That’s just how he is.”

Following Smith’s comment, one of his grandchildren showed him Bitcoin’s progression in the last year and how its value has grown more than 320 percent. He responded that the graph reminded him of the Superstition Mountains near Phoenix, and for this reason alone he expressed interest in making a substantial purchase as soon as possible, despite a chorus of objections.

When it was explained to him how Bitcoin differs from other cryptocurrencies, Smith said he had no idea the two terms were related.

“You’re telling me it’s a type of cryptocurrency? That makes me think if I buy now, I’ll end up feeling dead inside,” he said. “I better do some research.”