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MENTAL HEALTH
AuDHD Ask: Why Won’t You Let Me Help You?
Understanding AuDHD Overwhelm
It’s normal to want to help when someone you love is feeling overwhelmed. Offering help is a way of showing support and love. But for those of us with AuDHD, accepting help can be complicated and sometimes feel impossible,
Offers to help can add to our stress rather than relieve it. Why does stepping away from a problem, letting someone else handle it, or asking for help create more overwhelm than reducing it?
“Why don’t you just take a break?”
When I’m overwhelmed, more than one person has suggested, “Why don’t you just take a break?” It sounds simple, but moving away from a problem doesn’t actually help fix the stress. It increases my anxiety because now I have more time to worry about the issue and to feel guilty for not actively addressing it. Taking a break doesn’t remove the stress; it just changes the scenery while my mind continues racing.
The suggestion to take a break can feel dismissive, like they don’t understand what I am dealing with or they doubt my ability to solve the issue on my own. When I step away, it implies that I’m allowing someone else to take over. I have a very strong sense of control, and I need to feel that I am managing…
