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I’ll tell you what…
Things Are Going To Change
When I am Emperor of the World
First, I am the Future Emperor of the World because I called it.
Just like you long-ago youngsters used to call “Shotgun!” when you were all scrambling to pile into the station wagon. Whoever called “Shotgun!” got to ride up front. (No actual shotguns involved. That was a stagecoach thing. Bygones.) Maybe I didn’t call it first, but I am hereby calling it the loudest.
“Emperor of the World!”
Right.
I am expecting some sort of worldwide cataclysm that will destroy most of the Earth and kill most of the people on it.
I expect to survive. I always have. I hope you survive, too.
After the apocalypse, I am taking over. I will need your support. Some of you, not all of you. Thanks.
One of the first things I am going to do is to round up all the leaders and banish them to an island. Leaders will have caused or facilitated the end of the world as we knew it, and we must not allow them to take a second crack at that. Anyone who wants to lead is ipso facto psychologically unfit to lead. You’d have to be crazy to want any position of authority. Insanity is usually a disqualifier. (But not always; see…
