You are right, Mr. Know-It-All

Oh, you’re absolutely right. About everything.

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From your observations about countries’ economic situations to how to write Chinese characters like a native. From comparing similarities and differences between Chinese and Taiwanese people, to claiming that learning English is useless and time-consuming, suggesting that non-English speaking countries should invest in natural science knowledge instead. There isn’t a single thing you’re not right about.

I love how you present your viewpoints and keep asking “Isn’t that right?” as if I could possibly find a hole in your perfect reasoning to argue against. I adore how you just need to open your mouth and people can see you’re “bloated” with your vast and extensive knowledge, which pours out like acid reflux.

I love how you interrupt me to exclaim “I know, I know everything you’re saying. Because I’ve researched it all, in fact I know even more than that. So you don’t need to waste energy explaining things to me.” How considerate of you. But perhaps a tad over-cautious, as if you’re worried I might think you’re ignorant of something. While good heavens, I can’t even contain my admiration for you.

How can one not admire someone who, despite English not being their mother tongue, could read classic literature in its original form since early…