Trump’s Plumbing Agenda Makes Bathrooms Great Again

Watergate 2.0 — this time, it’s personal hygiene

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I’d be writing a deep-dive analysis on presidential shower policy, yet here we are, folks.

At first, I thought this entire thing was ridiculous. Who knew bathroom fixtures would become the political battleground of our time?

Apparently, America’s showers have been suffering under the limp, tepid tyranny of water-pressure socialism for way too long. And last week, President Trump, ever the populist plumber, finally took a sledgehammer to the bureaucratic nonsense strangling your morning rinse.

In a laughable but also practical move, Trump signed an executive order to “make America’s showers great again” by rolling back Obama-era water flow restrictions.

I don’t know about you, but as I watch my grocery bill hit triple digits for what used to cost half that, and as I take out a small loan to fill my gas tank, I find myself thinking, ‘You know what would improve my quality of life right now?

A more forceful shower spray!

Thankfully, our government has its finger on the pulse of America’s true priorities.