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In Praise of Hugs
Natural Impulse with Small Kids, Conscious Strategy with Big Ones
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Parents grow accustomed to unsolicited comments and advice. If many of those comments repeat, then you wonder whether maybe the sentiment expressed is actually true.
When I had five kids in five years, the comment I heard most was: “You think it’s tough now, just wait until they’re teenagers!” A variant form was the question: “What in the world are you going to do when they’re all teenagers?”
I didn’t have an answer. I honestly didn’t know, but was filled with vague dread, wondering whether maybe these people knew what they were talking about, and were right to warn me.
Well, those kids are teenagers now, all five of them. And I do have an answer to that question from 13 years ago.
What am I going to do when they’re all teenagers?
Hug them.
Of course, I do a lot more than that. This isn’t “American Mom’s One Weird Trick for Parenting Teenagers.” First of all, hugging isn’t weird, or shouldn’t be. And I definitely don’t want to imply that there’s anything simple about parenting teenagers.
