Member-only story
A Promise to My Future Children-in-Law
May I Never Forget How It Felt for Me
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On paper, I seemed stereotypically annoying: I listened to the adults, did homework neatly and punctually, got good grades, readily volunteered, etc. I’m grateful to my childhood friends for looking past the stereotype.
I followed rules because they usually made at least some sense to me, not because I was trying to prove anything. If someone else didn’t follow a rule, well, maybe that rule didn’t make sense to them. Even before I knew the word “subjective,” I understood my experience in that way.
My friends didn’t perceive me as a goody-two-shoes because I didn’t tell them what to do and I didn’t tattle. But their parents perceived me as a good influence, often telling me that they hoped I would “rub off” on their kids. I generally got along well with both my peers and their parents.
So when my boyfriend’s father treated me very coldly, I felt confused. Why did he emanate immediate suspicion and disapproval?
I blamed myself and tried to figure out what I must be doing wrong. I really didn’t know. I treated him with the same respect as everyone else.
