Member-only story
THE NARRATIVE ARC
Dear Forgetting, I Love You
I’ve become a better listener by being vulnerable
“Where are you right now?” Abby said. She is great at reading body language.
“I’m sorry. I was writing. You have my attention now.”
I look intently at her and think, “Okay, Andrew, make eye contact. Stay focused on the eyes. Look at her eyes. Stay locked on the eyes. Uh oh. What did she say?” All I can hear is me reminding myself to look at her eyes. “Shoot! Shut up and listen.”
I’m not a good listener.
In business meetings, it’s essential to focus on the client. I do listen, and it’s intentional, but it’s not easy. I’ve attacked the problem from every angle: remove distractions, turn off the radio, silence the ringtone, put the phone in a separate room, take attentive notes, and make eye contact. These hacks work well in professional settings, especially on Zoom, where I can control the environment.
When I’m relaxed, that’s when the trouble begins. I’m comfortable with loved ones — my wife, especially. I stare into her eyes and think, “Andrew, pay attention, you want to hear this.” But instead of listening, I float into space.
Listening is the tip of the iceberg. My inner dialogue is a self-imposed…
