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A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

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The High Cost of Convenience

You May Get It Fast, But You’ll Pay And Pay.

3 min readMar 15, 2023

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If you can already get Carnation Instant Breakfast Drink in an instant by stirring powder into a glass of milk, how much of a rush do you need to be in to buy the pre-mixed version? amazon.com

“I’m hungry and I don’t want plain old cereal again,” my roommate said to me as he rummaged through the refrigerator.

“You could try an omelette with those eggs,” I pointed out. “All you’d have to do is beat two eggs, chop a little bit of green pepper, saute and it’s ready in less than five minutes. Even with the high price of eggs, it would probably only cost you about a buck.”

“Nah. Too much work,” he said.

Isn’t oatmeal already a convenience food? Fresh Seasons Market.

“How about oatmeal? You could put a half cup of oats and a cup of milk in a bowl and cook it in the microwave for 5 minutes. Add some brown sugar and it still comes to about 25 cents.”

“That’s way too long,” he said as he went further into the fridge’s deep, dark recesses. “Okay, then how about just scrambling eggs? You can break two eggs into a buttered pan and have it ready to go in 2…

The Haven
The Haven

Published in The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

David Volk
David Volk

Written by David Volk

I’m a Seattle-based freelancer and humorist who loves goofy humor, politics and pot stirring, if you know what I mean.

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