Gatekeeping is Real
Gatekeeping is real. Gatekeepers do exist.
First, let’s get this one out of the way so we can focus on the actual topic and not speculate whether they exist. Gatekeepers will start surfacing when you vocalise your interest in relocating abroad. The term “gatekeepers” sounds alarming, but they come in all types. A friendly uncle, despite never setting foot outside of his town, tries to persuade you not to leave; an unsupportive boss who continues to overwork you, preventing you from reaching that foreign language level you need to study or work abroad; a possessive friend who took “the friendship forever” motto too literally.
These are all the more reasons to leave if your goal is not understood, appreciated, and supported by the people around you and the systems set up to work against you. We may not be able to change the system; we could change ourselves by changing our location.
In the ideal world, I wish people spent more time focusing on their goals, but some spend their energy limiting and trying to stop others from progressing. I used to get astonished by unsolicited advice from people who had never relocated, studied abroad or tried to do so but claimed to know it all. My parents encouraged me to venture out, grow, and find my path in Life, but some people stood in my way with their empty rhetoric.
Fortunately, I did not listen to the gatekeepers. First, I am stubborn and do not give up easily, and second, I managed to break plenty of glass ceilings during the last three decades with the help of people who believed in me. Now, I am skilled at reaching my goals regardless of the difficulty level or the number of gatekeepers in front of me. Do I wish things were easier? Of course, yes. But I don’t want to compare my journey with someone else’s. Countless differences and hidden situations exist between individuals; comparison is unrealistic and a waste of vital energy.
The question is, why do people do that? Some people may not intend to gatekeep or create artificial obstacles for others. Some may intentionally make things complicated for others. The real reason may never be revealed, but no one can rule this out. I am not saying all these to create anxiety, but instead to equip you with understanding so you know this can happen. Mental preparation and knowing what to do when this happens are key.
I prefer to approach Life pragmatically and not go to extremes of toxic positivity or negativity. If I wrote in this series that “Everyone will embrace you, open doors and hold them for you when you relocate,” I would have been disingenuous. But I would not also say that “Gatekeepers always win, and there is no meaning in trying.” Whatever I overcame and succeeded in would have amounted to zero if I had believed in the latter statement.
If you wish to change your Life through relocation, there is a rich meaning in trying, progressing, learning, and evolving. You will learn to cherish the small wins in your pursuit and keep changing your tactics when the gatekeepers show their faces. Fortunately, gate openers exist, too. Look out for them, be open-minded and embrace them if you find them. And I hope you will become one of the gate openers and continue to hold the doors for others so they can change their lives.
Dr Tsendpurev Tsegmid
©2025 Tsendpurev Tsegmid. All rights reserved. Please do not copy or republish the manuscript on a different platform without permission from the author.
