Why Are Toxic Men So Threatened by a Confident Queer?

And how can we be better people without stoking our shame?

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I love talking to strangers. A few months ago, I saw a man outside of work and we started chatting right away. I waved goodbye to my colleagues and friends, and disappeared down the subway stairs with the man I just met.

The next morning, everybody was fishing for juicy details. I explained that the young man and I just chatted in a friendly way, then shook hands and said goodnight. I sensed he had a flirtatious interest, but I wasn’t feeling it.

Plenty of times the shoe is on the other foot — I find someone attractive, but they don’t seem interested in me, whether that’s because they’re straight, or they already have a boyfriend, or maybe that magic spark just isn’t there.

Then again, I’ve met a lot of fellas on the train where our energy together is so magnetic, we stay in each other’s arms for months. And every time that’s happened, I’m thankful for his courage and I marvel at the serendipity.

It’s always worth saying hello. You never know who you’re going to meet.