Member-only story
How Excluding Trans Women From Women’s Spaces Is About Control
It was never about safety to begin with
“… you have as much right to exist as those who are cisgender. That said, natural born women fought hard for single-sex spaces and have a right to safety, dignity, and privacy.”
That was a comment I received after sharing how I was kicked out of a women’s restroom — refused entry for how I looked, then denied access to the men’s one moments later. The person who wrote it blocked me shortly after posting what they clearly believed was a fair and balanced response.
That sentence has stayed with me — not because it hurt, but because it revealed everything.
The message was clear: you exist, but not here. Your dignity matters, but only in theory. We support you — until your existence touches something we’ve decided belongs only to us.
Some mention discomfort or being triggered. I understand that — to an extent. I’ve had trauma responses triggered by something as small and intangible as a scent. There’s a particular niche perfume that my abusive ex used to wear. I’ve walked into places where someone nearby was wearing it, and I’ve had to leave.
I’ve seen strangers whose features — through no fault of their own — reminded me of a night that split my life…
