Member-only story
Did I Choose a Flake Because the Bullies Called Me a ‘Fruit’?
What if “enthusiastic consent” is actually a red flag?
I thought I knew all the bars in the area. I’ve been walking up and down 9th Avenue for over a decade, admiring the glistening lights of Restaurant Row, enjoying all the old familiar gay haunts. But that night, I needed a map.
I found the curvy neon sign of a brand new spot, wedged between a bread shop and a laundromat. I stepped inside the narrow, dimly lit bar, a warm glow of late evening sun peeking through the fogged up windows.
Red velvet curtains adorned the opposite wall above a little stage, and rows of whiskey bottles shimmered behind the bartender. An older man checked me in and gave me a name tag — I was attending a gathering of gay lawyers!
I was thrilled to be at a party where, for once, not everybody was an actor. I wanted to make some business contacts, and to expand my network of gay friends… I was not prepared for the romantic whiplash I was about to face.
Everyone around me was in a suit jacket and a well ironed button-up shirt. In my jeans and corduroy coat, I…
