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Trump Issues Executive Order to “Restore Shower Freedom”
This is NOT a late April Fool’s Joke!
For those of you who think the worldwide tariffs were absurd enough, we are not done yet. That most “stable genius,” Donald Trump, has just announced he is “UNDOING THE LEFT’S WAR ON WATER PRESSURE.”
That’s right, folks. He’s fighting “radical green agendas” and wants to make showering great again! That’ll be perfect for those who peed themselves crazy during the Dow’s ups and downs these last few days.
You see, he “is restoring sanity to at least one small part of the federal regulations, returning to the straightforward meaning of ‘showerhead’ from the 1992 energy law, which sets a simple 2.5-gallons-per-minute standard for showers.” He thus vows to end “Biden’s dumb war on things that work.”
Just to remind you this is not satire, here’s the executive order in all of its glory:
As if playing himself on a SNL skit, Trump commented that he likes to “take a nice shower to take care of my beautiful hair.” He hates having “to stand under the shower for 15 minutes until it gets wet. It comes out drip, drip, drip. It’s…
