Understanding Autism: Why Valuing Justice is Becoming Increasingly Exhausting

I cannot stop seeking fairness, but it often feels like I am fighting a losing battle these days.

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I nearly gave up at work this week.

While I struggle with change, I know that it is inevitable. Sometimes, all you can do and indeed must do is make the best of a bad situation. But when I continually have to readjust because of others’ failings, with apparently no consequence for them, this becomes very difficult for me. When that is repeated every day for a week by the same people, it pushes me to breaking point.

The change is not the issue, though it is deeply annoying and uses up a considerable amount of my energy. It is the lack of justice in the situation — the fact that others seem to be able to behave in a way that continually inconveniences others, and nobody else seems to see anything wrong with this. To me, that ensures that the bad behaviour will be repeated in the future.

When I make mistakes, and I make lots, I always try to take responsibility for them, including recognising their impact on others. This means more than uttering a few meaningless platitudes. It means facing the consequences of what I got wrong, however unintended my mistake may have been.