Smiling While Spiralling: What High-Functioning Anxiety Feels Like

Because sometimes the strongest-looking woman is the one holding herself together in silence.

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I woke up, got dressed, and showed up. I smiled. I replied to messages. I taught back-to-back lessons. I nodded through a meeting. I encouraged a student. I laughed at a joke. And by the end of the day, I sat at my desk and realised I had not breathed with ease even once.

This is what high-functioning anxiety feels like.

It is not loud. It is not obvious. It is not what people imagine when they hear the word ‘anxiety.’ There are no visible breakdowns. There is no dramatic pause. Only the consistent ticking of someone who performs well enough to go unnoticed.

I look like I am coping because I am very good at pretending. I keep showing up because I do not know how to stop. People say things like, “You are so strong.” I nod, but I do not feel strong. I feel like I am surviving by habit. Like I am playing a version of myself who never lets things fall. I am always one unsent message away from breaking, but the world only sees the version that smiles in the corridor and answers emails on time.

It is difficult to explain to others that I am struggling when nothing looks wrong on the…