The Relentless Rescuers: Examining The Need To Always Lend A Hand Even When You Get Bitten

Exploring the frustrations of helpers who can’t seem to get through to those we want to support

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Being a helper is something that has always been a part of my identity. I help at work, with family, friends, even strangers in the supermarket. Problem-solving is my superpower. However, there are some people who just don’t seem to have any interest in this superpower. They don’t want any assistance, advice or solutions to their problems or they’d prefer issues to magically go away (don’t we all).

Now, it’s important to point out that I’m not one to hand out unsolicited advice, because people tend to not like that. I just have a lot of people, particularly friends, who come to me for advice about problems they are dealing with and I listen and provide suggestions as requested.

Oddly enough, these same friends will completely ignore even the simplest of suggestions that I might offer. They may come to me with the same problems over and over again looking for insight. I offer the insight or suggestion. It gets ignored and the cycle restarts and continues. As a helper, I find this particular cycle frustrating for a few reasons:

• I like to be effective at helping…