Member-only story
No One Wanted To Be My Friend Until I Started Drinking and Using
So, my substance abuse became a huge part of my identity
I didn’t have many friends growing up.
I never got any attention from boys.
I was never “popular” or “cool”.
I was the perpetual outsider.
No matter which group I tried to attach myself to, it was like no one wanted me around.
No matter how hard I tried, I didn’t fit in anywhere.
When I was 15, I met my first “boyfriend”, a man who was 20 years old at the time. Being an adult myself now, I know he was never my boyfriend and was always nothing more than a pedophile and a predator. But that’s another story.
He introduced me to alcohol and hard drugs.
When I found drinking and using, it was like I finally found “it”. The thing I had been looking for.
When I was drunk or high, I didn’t care what anyone thought about me, whether people liked me or not.
I didn’t care about anything at all.
Suddenly, I could be whoever I wanted to be.
Suddenly, everyone wanted to be my friend.
