Lifestyle

If Inner Peace Were an App, It Would Definitely Have Ads

Enlightenment comes with a subscription

Source:

If you think Inner Peace is some sacred, untouchable experience, you clearly haven’t lived in 2025 long enough.

Let’s be real! if Inner Peace were an app, it would absolutely be drowning in ads, pop-ups, and shady “free trial” offers that quietly gut your bank account three months later.

You’d open the app for a deep breath, and instead get
“Congratulations! You’ve unlocked a 7-Day Anxiety Cleanse (sponsored by PepsiCo)”

Nothing is sacred. Not even our desperate attempts to unclench our brains.

Meditation, Now Brought to You by Capitalism

The last time I tried to be a better human, I downloaded one of those mindfulness apps everyone raves about. It promised “serenity in just five minutes a day.” What it delivered was corporate harassment disguised as encouragement.

I got bombarded with:
“Don’t forget to meditate today!”
“Calmness is just one click away!”
“You’re 3 days behind. Inner Peace is slipping away…”