I Quit Psychedelics & Found Myself

The mushrooms showed me God — but left me chasing shadows

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About ten years ago, I took my first dose of magic mushrooms — Psilocybe Subaeruginosa, to be exact. My mind was ripped from its hinges. The world I thought I knew shattered.

I left behind a life of depression, petty crime, and drug abuse and became something else: a spiritual vegan on a relentless, all-consuming quest for truth. The walls of reality had cracked open, and what spilled out reshaped me forever. I witnessed:

• The illusory nature of time.
• The construct that I mistook for my identity.
• The parasitic control system plaguing civilization.
• Demons. Darkness. Deities. Nothingness. Eternity. God.

After experiencing the paradigm-bending states psychedelics can induce, I went on a vision quest. Over the next few years, I initiated at least 50 ‘heroic doses,’ often alone, either in the woods or in my bedroom at night. But psychedelics alone weren’t enough. My hunger for truth consumed me.

I devoured books on meditation, quantum mechanics, manifestation, ESP, and Eastern mysticism. I traveled to India, chasing enlightenment through yoga and meditation. I was convinced that truth was out there, somewhere, waiting…