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Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Humor inspired by literature, history, and life

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Name That Cramp! A New Gameshow You Don’t Want to Play But Have to Anyway

3 min read6 days ago

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A game show about women’s health featuring a host dressed as a uterus.
Image created in Canva

Congratulations! If you’re reading this, you’ve either just winced from a mysterious abdominal pang or you’re trying to decode which monthly body betrayal is currently destroying your will to live.

Welcome to Name That Cramp, the only game where the stakes are high, the prizes are heating pads, and the contestants are all slightly homicidal.

So, let’s dive into the thrilling world of uterine agony and Name That Cramp!

#1 Your three clues are:

Symptoms: Feels like your uterus is performing a one-woman show entitled “Death Grip: A Comedy.”
Duration: Exactly three minutes longer than your meeting with Brad from H&R BLOCK.
Best Relief: Curling into the fetal position and wondering why Mother Nature hates you so much.

Answer: The Clencher

Fun Fact: Doctors will call this “mild discomfort.” Doctors lie.

#2 Your three clues are:

Symptoms: You’re walking, laughing, living your best life –and BAM! Your lower abdomen screams, “I’M GONNA KILL YOU!”
Common Mistake: Thinking it’s…

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket
Jane Austen’s Wastebasket
Julia Wolov
Julia Wolov

Written by Julia Wolov

If something bad is gonna happen, don't worry; it will happen to me. Instagram: @auntjewey

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