The Impact of Childhood Trauma on Sibling Dynamics

Examining sibling bonds within troubled family systems

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When I left my older sister, it wasn’t just a literal departure. Rather it was a step towards self reclamation and individuation after a life time of annihilating familial abuse. Although our bond offered a way to endure and manage instability, neglect and abuse perpetrated by two mentally ill parents, our shared survival strategy when efforts towards (separating, growing, healing) ensued.

In fact, with the passage of time and divergent ways of coping, not only did we grow apart, our relationship became exceedingly acrimonious, particularly when I chose a pathway of recovery. So, even though there was a time when this rupture would have been unthinkable, as we were inseparable as children and relied on each other to survive inconceivable circumstances, when erecting self-affirming boundaries and stabilizing conditions was continuously met with heightened aggression, I threw in the towel.

This was a shattering loss.

As both a survivor and clinician of complex trauma for over thirty years, I’ve come to recognize how important sibling relationships are, as they are often the longest-lasting connections in a person’s life, rooted in shared history…