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Hyper-Dependency and Not Knowing How to Care for Yourself
The trauma of growing up with caregivers who did not teach life skills.
Trigger Warning: The following content includes personal experiences and discussions around difficult topics such as trauma, emotional challenges, childhood maltreatment, or abusive relationships. While my intent is to educate and share personal insights, some readers may find certain content emotionally distressing. This article is for informational purposes only.
For anyone trying to navigate what hyper-dependence is or whether they are living with its effects, we first have to unpack what it isn’t. Hyper-dependence is not about a fear of being alone. It often gets confused as a fear of abandonment or rejection, but the two are not synonymous. As a matter of fact, many who struggle with hyper-dependence prefer being alone because in those moments of time spent by themselves, they don’t have to feel the sting of feeling judged or shamed by others for not knowing how to do things they were never taught.
At its core, hyper-dependence is formed in childhood. And, as with most things that are learned backwards and by proxy from toxic, abusive, or negligent environments, there is no exception when it comes in becoming hyper-dependent. The fact is, if we were not taught how to do…
