10 Rules for Writing Effective Self-Talk Affirmations
Changing your self-talk is a high-leverage habit
Self-talk gives your subconscious mind specific directions and tells it to work on a problem. If you feed it in the right direction, it will come up with the right solution.
-Shad Helmstetter
Changing your self-talk is a high-leverage habit
Look at someone good at living life. I can tell you with certainty that their inner dialogue is life-affirming and full of self-belief.
Look at someone whose life is a mess. I can absolutely guarantee that their inner dialogue is self-defeating.
If you are not living the life you want, your self-talk is holding you back.
Our problems are complex, and changing our self-talk may seem too easy of a solution.
Don’t ignore a solution just because it seems simple.
The question is “Does it work.” and the answer is “yes!” I‘ve had great benefit from changing my self talk, and I’ve witnessed its power in the lives of many others.
Consistency and persistence are required. Yet, with surprisingly little effort, I know you can revolutionize your life by changing your self-talk.
To rewrite your self-talk, you need to follow specific rules.
I look to Shad Helmstetter, the leading authority on self-talk, for guidance. His classic book, “” contains these rules.
“There is no thought which, although it may have worked against us in the past, cannot be reworded into a self-direction which works for us.”
-Shad Helmstetter
10 Rules for rewriting your self-talk
1. Write out the problems you want to change
Make a list of ten phrases of negative self-talk you have used in the past.
Write out the old phrases you want to change, the problems you want to solve, and the opportunities you want to exploit. This will help you see what hasn’t worked in the past.
Now, look at each sentence.
If it is doubtful, wishy-washy, questioning, or harmful in any way, change it.
Write a statement that will give your subconscious mind directions for exactly what you really want, keep it realistic but challenging, and in direct opposition to the old phrase you want to replace.
For example:
“I need to get more exercise.”
Change that to…
“I enjoy exercising, and I like how it makes me feel. I like keeping myself in shape mentally and physically. I look good and I feel good, and daily exercise keeps me that way. I look forward to exercising my body and mind every day, keeping myself fit and winning.”
When you rephrase your old self-talk, you look at it from different angles and add supporting statements.
“I wish I had more time.”
Change that to…
“I make time and I take time to do what I need to do. I am responsible for choosing when, where, and how I spend my time. And I choose to spend my time in a way that creates the greatest benefits in my life.”
Now, that’s a powerful self-talk statement!
2. Only one or two phrases won’t do much
Replace as many of your old harmful phrases as you can find. Use your new phrases as much as possible.
The more old phrases you change and the more you use your new phrases, the better your results will be.
3. State the positive
State the positive, “I will succeed.”
Never affirm in the negative. “I will not fail.” “I will not cheat on my diet.”
Never affirm, “I need to…” “I should…” or I ought to…”
4. Use the present tense
In most cases, the image you create for your subconscious should be a picture of you already having accomplished your objective.
Use the words “I am…” and “It is…”
“I am good at saving money.”
“It’s easy for me to get out of bed in the morning.”
“I look forward to exercising each day.”
“This month, I am bench pressing 250lbs for ten repetitions.”
“I am losing eight pounds or more this month in a healthy way.”
You may not completely believe some of these affirmations at first. That’s okay. It’s part of your brain’s natural survival mechanism.
To offset this, your mindset should be, “I’m going to accept these affirmations as fact because they will help me. I’m programming my mind in a healthy, beneficial way. These affirmations are good for me.”
5. Be specific
“Vague directions lead to vague results.”
You must give your subconscious specific, detailed directions.
Quantifiable numbers should be used whenever possible. The more specific you are, the better.
“In the month of October, I make $20,000 selling life insurance.”
“In the month of October, I bench press 250lbs for 8 reps.”
6. Give healthy instructions
Shad Helmstetter tells the story of a woman who told herself she would do anything to lose 35 pounds. She got ill and was sent to the hospital. She did indeed lose 35 pounds, but not in a healthy way!
Your subconscious will take any direction you give it, which can be dangerous. You want to make sure your affirmations do not have unwanted side effects.
Never use the words “I will do anything to…” “anyway I have to.” “anyway I can.” “no matter what it takes.” or “by any means necessary.” Your subconscious takes those words literally.
Use the words healthy and beneficial. In financial matters, use the word ethical.
“In the month of October I make a net total of $20,000 in earnings from a business deal I am working on. This business deal will be conducted in an ethical manner as I create value for my clients that they will benefit from.”
7. Use straightforward words to paint clear pictures
Self-talk should be easy to recall and use; otherwise, you won’t use it.
“Use simple works, paint clear pictures”
8. Be realistic
If you are making $2,000 a month right now, don’t set an affirmation for $10,000 next month.
Don’t demand miracles or expect the impossible. It’s good to stretch yourself, but use common sense. Set attainable goals and fix attainable problems.
9. Be honest
Be honest with yourself about the roadblocks that are holding you back. You need to address the root cause of your problems.
If you are selling life insurance but have doubts about your ability to be persuasive, you need to address your self-doubt first. Affirming you make $2,000 more in monthly sales will not help. The root of the problem is your self-doubt. Start your self-talk efforts there.
10. Challenge yourself
“Don’t sell yourself short. Make sure your self-talk demands the best of you.”
While we want to be practical and reasonable, our self-talk should challenge us.
You were born to succeed. Replace that harmful self-talk holding you back and begin living up to your potential.
By following these rules, you will be giving your brain the right direction and setting yourself up to get the right results.
