Humor | Parenting

My Baby Was a Real Live Beatrix Potter Quote Bot

There is such a thing as too much early literacy

The Roly-Poly Pudding, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

I want you to imagine a baby toddling toward you. The baby is bald, and her shirt is all drooled up from cutting front teeth. The baby is one of the less-coordinated babies, and she needs to hold on to the furniture to locomote in your direction, but as she does, the baby has a determined, nay, defiant look on her chubby face. There is drama in this baby’s slow trajectory towards you. Finally, the baby reaches you. She raises her little fist and puts up one imperious index finger, like a Roman emperor about to order your execution. Then, waggling the raised finger for emphasis, the baby says:

“Make me a roly-poly pudding kitten dumpling for my dinner!”

What do you do?

If you’re like the many friends of mine who experienced this, you probably look at me and ask, “What?” But the baby is not done.

“Tom Kitten fell in the smuts and got his new waistcoat all dirty!”

From The Tale of Tom Kitten, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons