Member-only story
OPEN LETTER
To the Female Community Writing About Abuse and its Consequences
From a male who understands
I have read you all for several years. Your work is truthful and expresses widely held and experienced beliefs in and to your audiences.
At the very beginning of understanding abuse, I signed up and took some online courses. Getting out of abusive relationships is not easy. I had the reasons explained to me. I am a man, and I got it. I do not blame women for not getting out of abusive relationships any more than I blame them for the actual abuse or not seeing “a bad man” to begin with. We can all agree, blaming solves nothing.
If you are married with children the kids inherit abuse at a cellular level . . . even if they are not abused directly. And then the abuse moves forward as generational trauma. This “passing forward” of trauma also could be a motivator to leave your bad relationship in order to break what is often an ongoing family abuse cycle.
Many if not most families have some version of this. If you don’t break the cycle, the generational trauma gets piled on in layers and it becomes…
