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The Midlife Revolution
That magical thing that happens when we turn 40
About six months after turning 39, I woke up one November morning feeling numb. Not because of the cold Edmonton winter, but because I’d lost the ability to feel somewhere along the way.
I couldn’t recall the last time I felt joy. I didn’t recognize myself or my life. I had made all of the choices, but I didn’t recognize myself in the life I had built. Not only could I not recall the last time I felt joy, I didn’t even know what would bring me joy.
I knew I had to try to find a way back to myself. And so I set out on a journey of self re-discovery.
Reclamation
So I went back. I flipped through old photos of myself throughout the years and set aside any photo of myself where I recalled experiencing joy or where it evoked a strong sense of self.
I made myself some joy flash cards. Then I chose a couple of those photos and wrote the story behind them in my journal. It was a good start.
Next, I started thumbing through old report cards. I know this sounds crazy, but reading the words of people whose job it was to observe and report, before anyone had gotten into my head, was very informative. My teachers had used words like “exuberant” and “ray of sunshine” to describe…
