LIFE

I Don’t Want To Write About My Trauma Anymore

The trouble with self-disclosure

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The other day, I sat down at my computer and Googled myself. I know that sounds sort of narcissistic, but I was genuinely curious about what would pop up. I’ve written more than 400 stories on the internet, so I wondered if they would show on the page.

There they were, right on Google, the extremely personal stories I’ve written about my life. For the first time, I felt a slight sense of embarrassment that I didn’t expect. I’ve never been shy in telling about my life, but suddenly I felt quite vulnerable.

I started writing for two reasons. First of all, I wanted to tell my stories. My PTSD was so severe that I sometimes denied any of my trauma actually happened. Writing it down made it feel more real, and I began to heal a little more after every story I shared.

The other reason is that I wanted to help at least one other person learn from my mistakes. I felt blessed that my life had changed for the better. It was like I was drawing a road map for people on how to get out of an abusive marriage, stay off drugs for good and heal from PTSD. I finally divorced my husband and saved my life in the process, and I wanted to show others that it can be done.