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Bouncin’ and Behavin’ Fuckery

If you are a fan of R-rated humor writing and all sorts of general fuckery, welcome home. Humor writers are welcome to apply. &:^)

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Naughty or Nice

Santa, Fact or Fiction?

He knows when you’ve been sleeping…

3 min read4 days ago

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A child points to the department store Santa and asks, “Is that the real Santa Claus or one of the imitation Santa Helpers?”

Ah, the myth of Santa Claus — assuming it is a myth. Is he the real one? Does Santa Claus really exist? Do we really exist?

Ever since we were children, we were told that we mustn’t be naughty or we won’t get any gifts. Only the nice children will receive the goodies. He knows when you are sleeping and when you’re awake. In other words, you had better be good or pay the consequences.

The same can be said about God.

Like Santa Claus, God knows when you’ve been sleeping and when you’re awake. He, like Santa, knows if you’ve been bad or good, and that’s a threat if not downright intimidation.

He’s watching your every move — waiting to pounce if you mess up. Does a child believe in the bearded fat man in a red suit? Damn right, he does. It’s been drummed into his/her psyche since birth.

In a similar way, so has God. So when the little tyke at age five, or six, or seven finds out there is no Santa Claus — the fat man is fictional, just a myth made up to preserve an image — not to mention capitalism on…

Bouncin’ and Behavin’ Fuckery
Bouncin’ and Behavin’ Fuckery

Published in Bouncin’ and Behavin’ Fuckery

If you are a fan of R-rated humor writing and all sorts of general fuckery, welcome home. Humor writers are welcome to apply. &:^)

Jeff Eagle
Jeff Eagle

Written by Jeff Eagle

Screenwriter, humorist, actor and animal lover.

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