Member-only story
Sugar-coated Buffoonery
The Pound Exchange
Weighty matters matter
The Pound Exchange is a club of elite snobs of men and women who have lost an enormous amount of weight and think they are above everyone else.
The method of losing is to invest the weight they lose each week into a reduction account. As the weight builds in the account, the same amount is deducted from the depositor’s balance.
New members will have to earn their way in, just as if they were pledging to an elite sorority or fraternity. Some newbies ask, “Is this like losing weight through prayer?” The members laugh at the stupidity of the question. “Nope. We just invest our time and effort in losing weight, and the pounds melt away. We as a group have collectively lost hundreds and hundreds of pounds.”
Each member has an account and a safety deposit box where they store receipts. These numerical denominations resemble money, for their weight loss progress. The receipts add up, or technically, go down.
We see these people in their ordinary world, observing how they treat others, especially those who are heavier, as they were in the past. They have an attitude. They are not kind.
One night, a couple of dumber-than-shit burglars break into the Pound Exchange and mistakenly think they…
