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Black Bear

At Black Bear, we share informative articles and personal stories about struggling with mental health and substance use disorders.

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Music Is My Closet Friend, My Fiercest Foe

5 min readMay 14, 2025

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A light up sign that says “You are what you listen to”
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“I learned to love the music of all the tunes in my mind, the changing of chords, the rhythm of time.” — Let Time Go Lightly, Harry Chapin

For as long as I can remember, music has been my go-to method of coping. In the small extra bedroom of our fourth-floor walkup apartment in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn, I would listen for hours to my parents’ collection of records from the musicians they’d left behind in their beloved Cuba.

When I was 7 years old, Mom and Dad bought me a battery-operated transistor radio that fit in the palm of my hand. That tiny radio burned through enough 9-volt batteries to power a concert at Madison Square Garden.

Stress, sadness, boredom — it didn’t matter what the emotion was, music offered a way to make sense of it. It was a roadmap to the bigger picture behind my feelings.

Lyrics became a more intentional part of how I processed things. They painted pictures that matched the daydreams the songs sparked in my mind. I often say that I invented music videos, but someone else capitalized on it.

I searched out songs that matched my mood. I learned to play the guitar and would lie on my bedroom floor playing John Denver…

Black Bear
Black Bear

Published in Black Bear

At Black Bear, we share informative articles and personal stories about struggling with mental health and substance use disorders.

Barb Besteni
Barb Besteni

Written by Barb Besteni

Writer, Spiritual Seeker, Musician, Animal Lover, and so much more ...

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