Member-only story
To My Brother, Who I Love, Who Decided Not To Love Me Back
A different kind of loss.
My older brother and I are “Irish Twins.”
We were born 11 months apart. For us, this translated into a complex relationship. At times, we intensely loved each other. We were intense allies. We vehemently protected each other from an unstable abusive mother and a harsh world for two kids raised in extreme poverty.
Sibling Rivalry and Diverging Values
Our abusive mother also did whatever she could to pit us against each other. We were often bitter rivals. Competitive to a fault, resentments grew between us as our values diverged.
Not once did I allow this to change my love for my brother.
I wish I could say this went both ways.
A Choice That Changed Everything
In our early twenties, my now-husband and I went through a rough patch. I left my future husband. I told him we couldn’t be together if he couldn’t treat me right and be a better man. I told him to leave our home and seek therapy. He did both of these things. I…
