Aging Beyond 70
Congratulations, you’ve reached your 70s. From a four-season perspective, you might think of it as the late autumn or early winter of your life. Click here for my previous stories about ‘Rethinking Old Age.’
And so now, what’s your current life situation, and what’s your strategy as you approach the time when you exit this Earthly realm?
In my series of articles regarding your “Life Exit Strategy,” I list some critical questions you should ask before exiting through death’s door.
Here are some of the questions from that list:
- What is your current state of health?
- Can you still physically and mentally function in a satisfying way?
- Would you prefer to live a shorter life in good health or a longer life with health issues?
- Who will care for you if you can’t care for yourself at some point in life?
- What are your wishes if/when you are diagnosed with a health issue that is debilitating or terminal?
- What are your wishes if/when you are diagnosed with the onset of some form of dementia?
For this article, I pose two questions for your consideration. First….
What are three things you might want to avoid once you pass 70?
Since I’m now 72, I can bring some first-hand observations to this question. From my experience, here are three things I avoid:
1. I avoid most other 70-year-olds.
That sounds egotistical and unkind — and it may blow a big hole in my small circle of friends, many of whom are 70+. But here’s my reasoning.
I find that many 70-year-olds are unintentionally in a state of “decay” — both attitudinally and biologically.
They have subscribed to society’s edict that they will now automatically move into a state of accelerated mental and physical decline.
As a result, dinner conversations with such people rarely progress beyond their comments about the most recent friend who passed away, their latest shoulder surgery or knee replacement, or reciting their long list of medications they’re taking. “Getting old sucks” and “Aging isn’t for sissies” are typical cliches heard in such conversations.
Rarely does the conversation involve ideas about how to maintain a sound mind and fit body at this stage of life. Nor is there much discussion about how to combat any accelerating decline with healthy practices that should have been a part of life all along.
As an outspoken advocate for living a long and healthy life, I’ve learned not to bring up the topic at gatherings of people in their 70s and beyond. It’s simply not a hot topic.
Meanwhile, on rare occasions, when I meet a wizened older person with a refreshing perspective, I gladly participate in stimulating conversations.
Edith Wharton once said, “In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.”
And so, instead of hanging out with my peers, I’m more inclined to find stimulating conversations with those younger than myself. And, I humbly suggest that people aged 70 and above might be better served by increasing their efforts to connect with the younger generations.
Such connections would be two-way wherein: (1) the elder would thrive and learn from the younger’s creativity and energy, and (2) the elder, with their acquired wisdom and experience, would help guide the younger.
2. I avoid the retirement mindset of “Work hard in your career, then retire and be lazy.”
Here again, I’m treading on sacred ground. But the evidence is there to support my heretical suggestion.
The traditional notion of “transitioning from vocation to vacation” has been ingrained in us for five or six decades. It’s a ‘Trojan Horse’ concept that has led several generations into a lifestyle that’s counter to our biological nature. And in most Western cultures, it has resulted in a late-life conundrum of “living short and dying long.”
In nature, retirement doesn’t exist. Nor did it exist anywhere in human society 150 years ago. Today, retirement is a Euro-American concept constructed for political and capitalistic purposes and doesn’t exist in many countries, some of which produce the longest-living citizens.
Biologically, we are given only two choices in life with our bodies and brains — grow or decay. Retirement can put us on the decay path — and does for many.
Fortunately, we are waking up to the fallacy and irrelevance of ‘traditional’ retirement. But we also find ourselves in unfamiliar territory with a twenty to forty year life extension. As a result, ‘unretirement’ and semi-retirement are now rapidly developing trends.
3. I avoid just drifting along in later life without a game plan.
Because, as boomers and pre-boomers, we’ve been conditioned to look forward to the transition from labor to leisure, most of us move into that period between the end of our career and true old age without a roadmap or plan for what that phase will be like. We are now in a new ‘time zone’ that could last 20–40 years. And we have limited precedents to guide us.
For many, the result is entering an extended period of life where they just drift along, feeling their way through. Studies indicate that two out of three retirements begin without a financial plan and fail to address the mental, physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual aspects of life in this new phase. Being so unfocused and complacent at this stage of life can lead us to accelerated deterioration.
The successful, thriving, healthy ‘winter’ of your life requires a sense of purpose and a plan. Without such, we waste the talents, skills, experience, and energy acquired earlier in life.
Now, here’s my second question for you:
What if, at some point, you suddenly find yourself surviving instead of thriving?
The distinction here is dramatic. Many people later in life are barely surviving for many reasons. Here are a few examples.
Many older people often live alone.
While some seniors are naturally reclusive and prefer not to engage in social interactions, many other older people need to feel part of a group, whether family, friends, or the community. However, for whatever reason, many of these individuals end up having no social interaction with anyone other than the doctors, therapists, and home care providers who occasionally interact with them.
In other words, social life for many older people becomes non-existent. Research shows that mental health becomes a key issue for older people who live alone. People who have no company at all, and especially those who are confined to their homes, are at serious risk of depression.
Many older people often develop physical and mental illnesses and disabilities that seriously restrict their lives.
As with an old car, it seems that everything eventually breaks down. As a result, many older people become restricted in many ways.
If a person is fit and able, they tend to have fewer problems because they can get out and do things like exercise, meet people, do their own shopping, maintain their garden, and other activities. This is not the case for many disabled seniors, making life increasingly difficult as they age.
Many older people can no longer perform essential activities of daily living without assistance.
These activities include the ability to feed oneself, the ability to clean oneself (bathing, grooming, and maintaining personal hygiene), the ability to dress oneself, the ability to use the toilet independently (including getting on and off the toilet and maintaining personal cleanliness after use), the ability to move from one position to another (such as getting in and out of bed or a chair), and the ability to control bladder and bowel function.
Many older people have a fear of falling.
That’s because once down, it’s hard to get up, and often may not be possible at all. After age 65, approximately one in four seniors will experience a fall during any given year. This can mean broken bones, especially hips, which do not mend well in older people and incapacitate people for many months. Some older adults do not survive such significant traumas.
Many older people can no longer handle their financial affairs.
And part of this issue involves the complicated and ongoing paperwork required to properly manage their life assets. Older people also often lose their ability to be resourceful and advocate for themselves.
With my career in retirement planning, I have first-hand experience with the challenges older adults face in managing their assets without the guidance of qualified and trustworthy professionals.
There are other issues I haven’t mentioned in this article, but this will give you some idea of what young people often take for granted and never think about until they become elderly or must care for an older person.
Therefore, understanding the distinction between surviving and thriving in old age is crucial.
I’m grateful that, at 72 and living alone as a ‘lone wolf,’ I’m still thriving independently. Mindful of the many older people with the issues listed above, I have developed my own checklist of situations in late life that, if they present themselves, I plan instead to seek a quick, dignified death.
Again, for me, living short and dying long is not in the cards.
