“Do It Like A Man”
“Plan it like a woman but execute like a man”
“Stand still, look tough, give orders, and be insufferable”
We have come to always associating power, control and discipline with men. That masculinity represents power. Likewise a wisdom wasn’t born by the graceful hands of a mother. Histories have made us failed to define what powers should look like in the body and soul of a woman. So that is what the women of our family also raises us to be.
In order to gain respect, it is to be feared, to be tough, to be decisive, to walk faster, to chin-up, to sit like one, have decisions made quick, competent, to learn to use pride and ego.
Do not mistaken our sayings. Oh yes we adore men. Yes we love it when they cure us. They serves us things as gentle, sometimes like fathers, we see them as shelters, not knowing such fears, they appear in place to place. Wiping sweat from their forehead saying “this is what men should do, work”. Holding back urge to cry in her daughters shoulders but instead tapping them hard and said “you’ve got this” to show her how the world is supposed to be faced. Men are graceful, their steps symbolize sobriety, always being in charge. Like having to conquer the willing to surrender.
But wonder! We hold power so much within us in the right times
The flawless skin, or curved body or makeup dressing cheeks and lips the world worships yet no men could ever understand how it is lovely being a woman. The soft whisper or blinking eyes when we ask for things, the way we instantly fall when you hug, caress, or touch. The way our hands are little to be guaranteed it in your embrace.
How we exquisitely make detailed plans from place to place, time to time, no shortfall. Everything was definite and precise. And no we will not let you starve, or lie about how you have eaten or what menu you were having, no we won’t let you escape unless you’ve heard our questions about “have you put the meat in the freezer or have you not” until we made sure of it.
How women make children instantly stop crying from tantrums with warm embrace or piggyback cradles while having to stir the hot soup in the pan, getting breads the out of oven while listening to their children complaining, remembering dessert recipe from last night internet browsing, which bills haven’t been paid or friends’ invitations that hasn’t been read or school tuitions or where is even the kids right now
Or the way we place our feet to the right and hands stacked above the thigh. Moving hair to the back of our ears contently, how we smile through every meetings relentlessly, elegantly, moving from side to side polite. How women can be decisive and ordered and fast while paced and not making a seem of how they are tired and confused as hell.
And the way we could’ve just easily done both, being a mother figure, a housewife, and also thrive in business yet still hardly, rarely given high positions with acceptable amount of salaries? Or even respect? Being told you can’t do it while also forced to think that you should came up with abilities on everything because apparently daughters took it from their mothers. Yet still getting the “you have to be smart but not too smart that it frightens others”
Why do u took our soft figure, motherly intuition for granted?
Doesn’t all of this looking like power to you? Likewise what men had always held pride upon? Aren’t these too, power, sobriety and bravery to you?
And if so, I would do anything like a woman. As though with voices we shall rise and our choices shall be minded.