A letter to You, that you will never read!
If I ever knew, love would be so destructive, I wouldn't have fallen in love. I never knew the depth this ocean was embracing, otherwise I would never have sailed. I would not have begun even, if I knew this was the end. How come your thoughts could be consumed so bad in the suffering of just one person and they never cared.
I was a selfless creature. I kept the dreams of my parents before mine. Still today, my shoulders carry the burden of those dreams passed to me. I hold them sanctified. Never remember when I chose myself. I rendered my love, emotions and youth to the fulfilment of the joy of my family. And I love being so. The blessing is unmatchable when I see my father smiling and talking about me.
But the only thing I chose for myself was YOU. The wide aura of imagining myself with you was so crazy that I forgot the way to return if I ever had to. And one has to, with bare foot drenched in sweat and blood of the dreams that became nightmares. You were the dream of my open eyes.
How badly I had dedicated myself. For all these years I never had looked up for someone else. I had so much faith in my prayers that HE will designate you for me. And he did. But as they say, sometimes HE tests you by giving and sometimes by taking away. And my test was in the attainment. I wish it was otherwise.
How many times I just put my pen closed and think what did I do to deserve the way I was treated. The only highlight that spins in my cerebellar tracks is the love I genuinely poured upon you. And all I had asked in return was nothing but merely a connection that could hold me to life.
Look what you did to me! You made my brain and heart barren. It's so preoccupied, I can't even recall what I had been raised for. Everyday I have to fight not to Give Up. Mornings haunt me and nights are colder; nothing to make my heart feel cozy. I stand alone in the violent maelstrom, with my eyes sinking in the darkness and my heart trying to stay alive.
~ A letter to you.
#loveisanillusion #lifelessons
