How My Brother Shaped My Life Decisions And Outcomes

His example put me on my path towards hyperindependence

Photo by on

My parents were really influential in my life, but early on in my young adulthood, many of the decisions I made in my life revolved around not wanting to be like my brother.

Right now, we both seem to be doing well — I am about to be an attorney and have been a special education teacher in Baltimore while being a law student at night. In my free time, I run marathons and write. He has been in pharmacy school for several years, but beneath the surface of our resume-level accomplishments, it’s a lot more complicated.

There has been a lot of pain and angst, especially in his life. I don’t mean this to publicly disparage him, so I will limit many of the personal details. I was the younger sibling by six and a half years, and always was a spectator to many of my brother’s mistakes and struggles. Like many younger siblings, I wanted to not make the same mistakes, and for most of my childhood, I had no one else to really compare myself to or to see an example of what to do or what not to do. We were first-generation Asian Americans, with parents who understood the culture of the country and society even less than we did as we forged a path between two cultures.