Speaking to Heal: My First Support Group for Survivors of Sexual Violence ( english version 🇬🇧 )

Introduction

On Saturday, May 17th, I took a step I had been holding in the back of my mind for years: attending a support group for survivors of sexual violence.

For a long time, I imagined what that moment would be like like. The idea that one day, I could speak freely, without fear of judgment. That I could sit at a table with people who truly understand – not just out of empathy, but because they, too, have endured the unspeakable. I hoped to draw strength from their stories, their resilience, and maybe offer a little light of my own.

the experience

There were six of us, of different ages, genders, background. All connected by one common scar: the wound of sexual trauma. Right away, I felt a lump in my throat. I was surprised, as I’m usually so confident when speaking in public, and I have always been so openly vocal about my own trauma for years in the past. But today, I listened. Deeply and compassionately to the stories shared. Most were about abuse suffered in childhood, like my own story.

I listened, one by one, to everyone’s testimonies, with deep empathy and a great sense of humanity. These stories and these people were completely different, and yet, we were strangers brought together by the pain of trauma – of a childhood and an innocence stolen, for most of us.

When it was my turn to share, my tears came before my words. I cried. Not out of sadness or anger, but out of raw emotion. I even said, “Sorry.” Then quickly corrected myself:

“No, actually, I shouldn’t apologize.”

Because feeling is living. And I think that’s what I came looking for – a space where I could be fully human.

I shared my story. Then we talked about the common defense mechanisms we’ve developed over the course of the years: hypersensitivity, hypervigilance… I even laughed when I said that sometimes just hearing someone breathe can irritate me – and found out I wasn’t the only one who had voiced that out loud! What a relief it was.

What I Realized

At the end, the group leaders asked us to name one emotion we felt after this powerful exchange. To my surprise, the most common answer was: joy.

And that’s when I understood what resilience really means. It’s not forgetting. It’s not erasing. It’s seeing the light, even in the darkest hours.

When it came to my turn, I chose the word relief. Relief that it went well. Relief that I chose myself.

But I also express the word : injustice – of all those abusers who are never held accountable, and all the survivors who must rebuild themselves alone.

Putting Others First

I also realized something else: throughout my healing journey, I’ve often prioritized others over myself. Some people close to me know what I’ve been through. Others don’t – not out of shame, really, but because I was afraid they couldn’t handle the truth, and I couldn’t entertain the thought of hurting them with something so heavy, ironic isn’t it?

Even when I considered pressing charges, it wasn’t for myself or my own personal healing – it was for the possible other victims. It’s always others’ justice before my own.

Conclusion

Today, I speak. Not because it’s easy, it’s never been. But because it’s right. It’s needed.

I speak for myself – but also for those who aren’t ready yet.

Because I truly believe that our words are our most powerful weapon. If this text reaches even one heart, one breath that feels a little less alone – then that will be enough.