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A Full Guide to Understanding Trauma Bonding and How to Free Yourself From It
A trauma bond is not a crush you can’t shake or a rough patch you’re determined to work through. It’s an attachment forged through pain, confusion, and intermittent hope — a psychological survival strategy dressed up as intimacy.
A trauma bond is a deep emotional attachment formed through repeated cycles of pain, followed by brief moments of relief or affection.
It makes you feel loyal to someone who hurts you, because your brain confuses intensity with love. You’re not addicted to the person — you’re addicted to the pattern.
At its core, a trauma bond is a biochemical tethering of your nervous system to someone who dysregulates it. You may feel addicted to the very person causing your suffering. You miss them even while you’re hurting. You long for the connection and blame yourself for the discomfort. The pain is real, but the love may not be.
“Why do I feel like I can’t leave?”
Because trauma bonding mimics love until you learn what real safety feels like.
The term “trauma bond” comes from , a pioneering researcher in sex addiction and complex trauma. He observed that individuals in abusive relationships often form deep, compulsive attachments. Not in spite of the…
