Discipline or Damage? When African Parenting Crosses the Line

Many of us were raised in fear and called it love. Now we’re adults, and the cycle threatens to continue.

“I remember when I was six and went to play at my neighbor’s house. I was supposed to be back home by five, but I got carried away and returned aroud 5:15. My mom tied me to the gate, flogged me with koboko, and poured pepper water on my legs. Since then, I’ve never missed curfew again. lol”

That wasn’t my story. It was a comment I read under a TikTok post.

In case you were wondering, this is a koboko. My mom had one with two… things. I was on the receiving end of this that one time I stole... and another time I would not say. Trust me, you don’t want to feel this thing. My mom only used this for very serious business. I tasted it twice.

The video asked, “What’s one moment of discipline from your childhood that you’ll never forget?” And the comments were… brutal.

Children, locked outside overnight. Burned. Stripped and beaten. Made to kneel on bottle tops. Whipped until they bled. Forced to eat raw pepper, salt, or spoiled food.

Many laughed as they recalled it. Some said they deserved it. Others even thanked their parents for raising them right.

I kept scrolling, a mix of shock, pity, and distant familiarity building in my chest. And then, I remembered something of my own.

I was maybe nine or ten. I had begged my mom to let me visit a friend. After much pleading, she agreed, but only if I took…