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Kara Panzer

Published in

Slackjaw

Don’t Got Milk

Raw or pasteurized — it’s all gross to me

Apr 30

Don’t Got Milk

Apr 30

Published in

The Belladonna Comedy

This Yoga Studio is a Sacred Space for Abundant Love UNLESS

The light in me sees the blue light radiating from your device

Apr 2

This Yoga Studio is a Sacred Space for Abundant Love UNLESS

Apr 2

Published in

The Belladonna Comedy

Why Our New Strategy to Prevent Retail Theft is a Cerberus Chained to the Self-Checkout Machine

We needed to find a method that worked

Feb 25

Why Our New Strategy to Prevent Retail Theft is a Cerberus Chained to the Self-Checkout Machine

Feb 25

Published in

The Belladonna Comedy

I Vow to Destroy the Vegetarian Community

With this sad, wet sandwich.

Jan 28

I Vow to Destroy the Vegetarian Community

Jan 28

Published in

The Belladonna Comedy

This World Mental Health Day, Celebrate at Saks

Ask your doctor if retail therapy is right for you.

Oct 10, 2024

This World Mental Health Day, Celebrate at Saks

Oct 10, 2024

Published in

The Belladonna Comedy

Enjoy a Beach Weekend with Me (Your Persistent UTI)

Cranberry juice can’t stop me now.

Aug 5, 2024

Enjoy a Beach Weekend with Me (Your Persistent UTI)

Aug 5, 2024

Published in

Slackjaw

There’s No Such Thing As A Free Pilates Class

Escape from aggressive gym marketing tactics

Jul 3, 2024

There’s No Such Thing As A Free Pilates Class

Jul 3, 2024

Published in

Greener Pastures Magazine

The Barbie Monologue, in Other Movies

It’s impossible to be

Jun 18, 2024

The Barbie Monologue, in Other Movies

Jun 18, 2024

Published in

Slackjaw

My Life As The Leading Lady In A 2004 RomCom

I couldn’t help but wonder: can brunettes find love?

Jun 7, 2024

My Life As The Leading Lady In A 2004 RomCom

Jun 7, 2024

Published in

The Belladonna Comedy

Brand Guidelines for the Second Coming

Our consultants have provided essential feedback on Christ (our brand)

Jun 5, 2024

Jun 5, 2024

Kara Panzer

Kara Panzer

Friend of Medium

Your mom likes my satire. Words in Points in Case, Slackjaw, Little Old Lady Comedy, Weekly Humorist, the Belladonna, the Offing etc. Follow for more!

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