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Julia Giantomasi

Published in

The Belladonna Comedy

Hey, I’m Just Here for the Wieners!

I want to taste every sodium nitrite nuance Chef Nathan has curated.

Jul 17, 2024

Hey, I’m Just Here for the Wieners!

Jul 17, 2024

Published in

The Belladonna Comedy

How to Do an Out of State Transfer at a Central Jersey (Yeah, We Exist) DMV

You think you can just move here and become Jersey? Think again, buddy.

May 23, 2024

How to Do an Out of State Transfer at a Central Jersey (Yeah, We Exist) DMV

May 23, 2024

Published in

Greener Pastures Magazine

A Skincare Convo with My Gal Pal Earth

We both may be doomed.

Apr 29, 2024

A Skincare Convo with My Gal Pal Earth

Apr 29, 2024

Published in

Greener Pastures Magazine

Open Letter to Everyone Working From Home But Really Just Running Errands

We’ve gotten a little bit too comfortable and it’s time we dial it back a scooch

Jul 4, 2023

Open Letter to Everyone Working From Home But Really Just Running Errands

Jul 4, 2023

Published in

Greener Pastures Magazine

Quiz: Excerpt From My Middle School Diary or Taylor Swift Lyrics?

Because Taylor Swift made speaking teenage girl into a timeless art form worth $400 million

Oct 25, 2022

Quiz: Excerpt From My Middle School Diary or Taylor Swift Lyrics?

Oct 25, 2022

Published in

Slackjaw

Come On Over But Only If You’re Cool With Boogers On Every Surface In My House

Make yourself comfortable in my booger haven!

Aug 4, 2022

Come On Over But Only If You’re Cool With Boogers On Every Surface In My House

Aug 4, 2022

Published in

Greener Pastures Magazine

Hot Tips From A Puppy To Level Up Your Kissing Game

Self-proclaimed expert smoocher with 10 months of experience here to tell you that you’ve been doing it all wrong

Jul 6, 2022

Hot Tips From A Puppy To Level Up Your Kissing Game

Jul 6, 2022

Yo, It’s Me, Your Fanny Pack, Here To Tell You To Stop Being Embarrassed By Me

The 90’s are back, baby!

Jun 27, 2022

Yo, It’s Me, Your Fanny Pack, Here To Tell You To Stop Being Embarrassed By Me

Jun 27, 2022

Published in

Greener Pastures Magazine

A Letter to the Tenant From the Squirrel Living in the Attic

Here’s hoping spring gets here soon because it has been a LONG winter sharing paper thin walls with you.

May 18, 2022

A Letter to the Tenant From the Squirrel Living in the Attic

May 18, 2022

Published in

Slackjaw

Flossing For The Dentist? I’m Waxing For The OB-GYN.

Vaginas are like a self-cleaning oven? Not today, folks.

Apr 22, 2022

Flossing For The Dentist? I’m Waxing For The OB-GYN.

Apr 22, 2022

Julia Giantomasi

Julia Giantomasi

Writer/Social Media Manager/Sasshole. Visit for personal humor essays or pop culture snark.

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