Knowing Our Families Better
Today, May 15th, we celebrate International Family Day. This occasion reminds us of the importance of family bonds and prompts the question: how well do we truly know and understand our family?
Family is a living, dynamic organism — it is constantly growing, changing, and seeking its own balance. It is the first place where we learn what closeness means, how to set boundaries, and experience love and a sense of security. At the same time, it is also where feelings of frustration and misunderstandings often arise.
It is natural for there to be differences between reality and the expectations we have of certain family members. When these expectations accumulate but remain unmet, feelings of dissatisfaction and inadequacy emerge. Additionally, the values and habits passed down from generation to generation are continuously evolving, which brings new challenges and can lead to misunderstandings.
As a psychologist and systemic and family psychotherapist, I have worked with many families where love is strong, but the values and ways of expressing love change from one generation to the next. For example, a mother who cooks every day thinking, “This is my way of showing you I love you,” and a daughter who, in today’s world that values time and direct communication, does not feel connected or noticed despite the daily shared meals. This clash between traditional and modern values creates space for misunderstandings. The key lies in open and honest communication — the ability to listen actively, with the heart, not just the ears.
Today, I invite you to reflect: What does it mean for you to be part of a family? How do you function within it? How do you handle complex interpersonal relationships? What are your expectations, and how do you express them?
On social media, we often see smiling, “perfect” families, but the reality is quite different. A healthy family is not one without conflicts, but one where disagreements can be expressed without fear. A place where anger, disappointment, and needs can be voiced, and others try to understand. A space where happiness and joy are shared willingly.
In a healthy family, boundaries are clear yet flexible, and dialogue is honest and includes active listening. When we view our family with this awareness, it becomes a space for growth — not because it is perfect, but because it has the potential to evolve, adapt, and forgive.
Think about how you can strengthen your family relationships. What small steps can you take toward better communication, greater understanding, and deeper closeness?
