Published inGreener Pastures MagazineI’m Hidden Valley Ranch, And Of Course I Seduced Harry StylesOf all the salad dressings, I’m the most sultryOct 28, 2022Oct 28, 2022
Published in2 Ho Ho Ho’sI’m The Last Valentine’s Day Card at Safeway, And I Own YouSo, I guess it’s just you and me on Valentine’s Day. Last call. I think we can agree that Safeway saved the best for last. Sure, you would…Feb 15, 2022Feb 15, 2022
Published in2 Ho Ho Ho’sI’m the Air Mattress You’re Sleeping on for the Holidays, and It’s Time for Your ReckoningWell, well, well. Welcome to Grandma Jean’s basement. I’m all blown up with an old Star Wars sheet draped over me, ready for you after your…Dec 21, 2021Dec 21, 2021
Published inGreener Pastures MagazineCocktails for Parents at College Drop OffOne Part Bourbon, One Part RegretSep 8, 2021A response icon2Sep 8, 2021A response icon2
Published inGreener Pastures MagazineWe at the CDC Are Announcing Exciting Brand Changes for the Delta VariantPlans Scrapped for Delta Plus PlusAug 9, 2021A response icon1Aug 9, 2021A response icon1
Published inGreener Pastures MagazineI, Mr. Miyagi, Have Completed Your Performance Review, And I Am Not Recommending You for a…Since you won the All Valley Tournament, I’ve seen a significant dip in your productivityJul 2, 2021Jul 2, 2021
It’s Always The Last Place You LookSomehow I lost my roasting pan. That may not seem like a big deal, but it’s a really, really big pan. Enough to roast the prize Butterball…Nov 23, 2020Nov 23, 2020
