“You’re allowed to change your mind at any time. About anything and anyone.” – picture quote I saw on Reddit
I was having a hard time reconciliation what my friend used to be, and what she’s turned into now. She has turned into someone I dislike to be around, with views and opinions so different from mine that I get so triggered and would always rant to others about her after every single interaction.
While ranting, one of my friend finally had enough and asked me exasperatedly why I’m still her friend and why don’t I just cut off contact with her since we’ve became so incompatible. I told her that it’s because we used to be close, and that I’d feel bad for going cold turkey on her because of this reason.
“So? You’re allowed to change your mind, you know that right? People change, and your opinion of them can also reflect that. Why do you have to feel bad?
That struck a chord with me because I feel I tend to stay loyal to people and things just purely on the account that I’ve known them x amount of years/ had them in my possession for so long.
Why do we sometimes feel like we owe it to people to stay with them even when our perception of them has changed? Sometimes, it’s not them who changed but us and how we see the world. It really doesn’t mean that we owe them anything though.
If there’s one thing I learnt about life, it’s the fact that nothing is ever constant and things and people change ALL THE TIME.
We don’t owe it to people to stay the same when they’re changing every single day. It’s actually a bit pathetic, almost like doing a tango on the dancefloor by yourself when your dance partner has long since left the dancefloor with a different, perhaps more compatible partner.
It is okay to walk away from the things or people that no longer serves you. It is okay to change your mind about things and do a complete 180 (do put them down with kindness whenever possible though).
It is okay to drop the degree you thought you’d enjoy but you just end up dreading every time you try to study.
It is okay to quit your job even though it pays well and everyone tells you how lucky you are, but you know deep in your heart that you’re depressed rocking up to work every day.
It is okay to stop being associated with someone because you or them changed and no longer have things in common to bond over.
It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.
It’s hard to remember sometimes but at the end of the day, you don’t owe anyone anything.
It is also okay when people stop wanting to be associated with you and ghosted you etc etc, that’s their prerogative and they too, have the right to do that.
They have the freedom to choose what makes them happy at the end of the day, and sometimes it doesn’t involve you. That’s okay too.
Let them be, and let you be. :)
