Scarcity of ‘Good Men’
This is one topic I thought I was crazy for thinking about, but lately, my thoughts have found support.
Good men — how would you describe them? I bet you thought: kind, loving, caring, patient. But why do we think these are the essential qualities of a man? What else is there besides what I mentioned? Why would you, as a woman, believe you don’t deserve someone treating you this way, and why should their doing so be praised? I’d love to sit down with the people who started this. Why are men in our society let off the hook for displaying basic human qualities?
A TikTok creator mentioned this: men thrive in the deprivation of women, meaning they will always strive to do the least and still expect praise. Have you noticed how quickly society praises men for simply fulfilling their responsibilities?
It’s been normalized to the point that people are making money off telling women how to act around men to get the best out of them. Shouldn’t we expect more from adults? A woman will do everything — be a present mother, a loving wife, a career woman — and yet people will still find fault in her, often claiming her presence is more needed with the kids and husband. Why? But when a man participates in his children’s lives, pays for their school fees, and treats his wife kindly, he is suddenly celebrated as a hero for doing what is expected. When did we allow men to act as though they don’t know what they’re doing, and then applaud them for doing it? For example, a man might receive praise for cooking dinner once a week, while a woman manages daily meal prep, household chores, and childcare without recognition.
This brings me to the “good men” who believe that just because they are kind, caring, and not physically abusive, everything they do that might seem wrong should always be forgiven. Or worse, they claim it was just a joke, and they didn’t mean it that way. These good men think that because they fulfill their duties in relationships or friendships, everything else is excusable. These men are often the quiet ones you like very much because they always portray the best image. Yet, after staying with them for a while, you start to notice the cracks in their character. Then, you’re left to decide whether you’ll be the one to fix those cracks.
What do you think about this situation? It’s time to reevaluate our standards and expectations for both men and women. When we celebrate minimal effort from men, we risk perpetuating a cycle of lowered expectations that harms everyone.
A.G S
