I’m Funnier Than This

A Poem by Obakeng Masego Mooketsi

Photo by İsmail Efe Top on Unsplash

I’m more –

Funny than this,

I’m more Cosby –

Than Chris –

Could rock this,

Before the trials –

I was better than this,

Man, I can’t sweat it –

Did it better than this.



Eyohhhh!

I am better than this,

Without stability –

My left wing won’t quit,

I could reach heights –

That Kilimanjaro can’t switch,

I’m an albatross –

In kilometers –

I shift.



Don’t slap me,

Without my free will –

I could –

Reach clarities,

That your best –

Wordsmith –

Wouldn’t even –

Run with me,

I’m all the way up –

Like Buddha’s touch –

I’m Five fingers –

In this century.



I am David –

I’ll give you the soap –

I’m not the Chapelle kind,

Like Kau –

I am Tau on a film –

Not really a Soapie kind,

I will give up a mill –

And tell Oprah –

That I’m not fine,

I can Diss Zuma –

And run to the states –

I’m like the Noah’s sign.



I am not fat –

My punchlines got tons –

Just call me Skhumba son,

I am super calm –

My lunch rhymes in tongues –

I’m like khumba yah,

King –

Your last statement just lacked –

Couldn’t get a preacher numb,

So, you are knee deep –

Down in the depths –

Swimming in Trevor’s ark.



I am Loyiso –

I’m not a coward –

I speak truths and facts,

Just like Thoriso –

I’m a journalist –

On Power 987 –

Just for a feature fact,

I’ll make beef –

With all these Rappers –

Just like 50 did,

Then leave the rap game –

With clearer factors –

Like the Jacksons did.



I’m not M&M –

You can’t diss me and win,

I’m a Weezy fan –

Abandoned my idol –

Cause he got weaker than,

Majorities –

In their sceneries –

Smoking wrong –

Or promoting wrongs,

I live my religion –

On proofs –

Like Billa Bong –

Is so outdated now.



I won’t speak about Ether –

Cause I breath that,

But Jay couldn’t win against Nas –

That’s a Quran fact,

Like nikkahs claim I used them –

Like Meek Mill did to Cassidy,

I’ll be Diddy’s chick –

Promoting Cîroc –

Or maybe Mr. Forbes –

Is a.k.a Cassie now.



Ohhhhhh!

Here we go again –

I beat the game –

Almost knocked Casper off,

I fanned Mr. Chana –

And got respect –

From Stogie now,

It’s not for composure –

I’m a soldier –

It’s my mission now,

I’ll be like L. Tido –

And pull a gat –

Just to close your mouth.



I need more heat –

I’ll pop your girl –

In your own crib,

Then make you –

Leave the crew –

Or spit flames –

With another dude,

I’m not a rap star –

My gas got more clout –

Than every solar,

I’ll leave the Rap game –

And tell all my fans –

I’m Bipolar.

I used to be funnier than this,

I met this house -

And everything changed,

I met this house -

and the rest of what’s in it,

The so-called impersonators -

Seeking comfort from me,

A bunch of strangers -

Wanting to get closer to me.

I used to be funnier than this,

Now that is gone -

Meet the new me,

The person you wanted -

A person you brought out,

This is the new me -

A person corrupted by public dirt,

The new me —

Corrupted by total strangers calling my name,

Strangers who claim to know me -

Imposters invading my life.

I am funnier than this -

At least that’s what I used to be,

I am more funnier than this -

But what is this,

I used to be funnier than this -

But this is reality and there’s no time for jokes,

I used to be funnier than this -

Happy and joyful,

I came here and met a new life -

Without privacy and intimate solitude,

Meet the new me -

A dead version -

Of whom I used to be,

Funnier Than this.

(440 WORDS)