The Loneliness of Being the Strong One

What happens when the person who holds everyone else together starts falling apart?

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They never really ask if you’re okay. Not the strong one.

You’re the person who remembers everyone’s birthdays, who answers phone calls in the middle of the night, who keeps your voice steady when chaos erupts. The one who shows up. The one who listens. The one who always knows what to say.

You’re the strong one.

And that’s exactly why no one ever asks.

The world loves people like us — dependable, unshakable, always “fine.” But what they don’t see, what they don’t even think to ask, is how lonely it gets to always be the anchor. Because no one ever checks on the anchor. They just tie themselves to it.

Where Strength Begins

I don’t remember exactly when I became the strong one. Maybe it was the first time my mother cried in front of me and I didn’t. Maybe it was when I started fixing other people’s problems to avoid looking at my own. Or maybe it was just easier to be needed than to need.

In South Asian culture — and honestly, in most families where emotions are managed more than expressed — being strong becomes a performance. You don’t cry in front…